Wednesday, April 21, 2010

What The _____?

Do you ever those times you find yourself scratching your head saying, What the___? You fill in the blank! There are several words I've used to end that sentence - all depending on what made me ask that question in the first place. So today I'm going to share some of my WT__ moments over this past week. The picture is of (l-r) Brad (my hubby - he thinks the glasses will hide the fear in his eyes!), me scratching my head, and Sarah (my sister's friend)

*I wasn't going to post about this because it's just nasty. But the more I thought about it, it really is amusing in hind sight. Last week as you know we buried my uncle. Well, at the viewing on Tuesday one of my daughter's came up to me and said she had something behind her ear. I looked and oh, WT__ is that? Oh $**!, it's a TICK! Talk about wanting to hide, barf, climb the wall but hello ding dong, you're the mom and you're surrounded by people at the viewing - be calm! I called Brad over and nonchalantly tried to have him look. "It's not a tick. It's just a blood blister." Seriously dear, a blood blister? Calm went out the window at that point. "Um, no! It's frickin tick! There's legs that are moving!" I know, gross, sorry. So we go into another room and I get on the phone to a friend who's a nurse. My sis gets on her phone and pulls up "How To Remove A Tick". We tried touching it with a heated tweezer end, nope. Tried freezing it's nasty @$$ with an ice cube, nope. Thankfully there was an urgent care at the end of the street, so Brad took our little bug girl for a visit. Good news, tick removed quickly & no sign of infection and it's not a deer tick. Not sure the kind (nor do I care), but apparently it's rare b/c 15 staffers came in to look at it. Leave it to The Smith's to add excitement to a viewing and then be a freak show at the Urgent Care. WT__?

*Funeral day comes and we arrive at the funeral home to be greeted by my uncle's "daughter". Long story short: uncle sterile - wife had 2 kids - U guessed it, not uncle's (DNA proved it) - divorce and only maybe 5 visits with my uncle for their entire life. "Daughter" beat all the family there that morning, told staff when asked she was his daughter and was waving her birth certificate all around while crying, sobbing, talking loudly and acting like she was on something. She said she flew in from Missouri yet her car was the first in the processional line b/c she arrived first and after all, is the daughter. WTHeck? If she had been smoking something, she could've shared at that point! The sad thing is, her daughter and husband were there too. The hubby was in his military uniform and kept quiet, and I felt so bad for him. All in all, the family did a good job keeping our mouths shut and not strangling this "stranger". Pastor also was a great help by removing her from the room. All during the funeral it was sob, snot, whah! Oh brother. Wait, or should I say cousin? Anyways, long lost daughter can't stay for the cemetary and leaves. But as we pull into the lot, guess who's pulling out? WT__?

*Now fast fwd. to Monday. My aunt decided to start the procedures of notifying the insurance co. and such. To her surprise, they had already been contacted. What? By Who? U guessed it, WackO had already called last Tuesday the day of the viewing! Another shocker, she might be the beneficiary to everything. WT__? It looks like my uncle had the kids as beneficiaries when he thought they were his and may not have gotten off his royal behind to change it. Oh crap this is going to be a bitter, nasty battle. Again I say, WTHeck?


*How about a good WT__? We went with my sister, her friend & her friends daughter to Kings Island in Ohio this past Sunday. I kind of conquered my fear of rollercoasters. I'm still terrified of them, but will ride again. I went on The Beast, The Racers, Vortex, FireHawk, all the Planet Snoopy kid rides, Monster, Scrambler, Shake/Rattle & Roll, Boo Blasters on Boo Hill and Drop Tower. This one was a WT__ moment! They strap you in, spin you up the 315 ft tower, then plumet back down at 67 mph. How fun, exciting, scarey, envigorating and memorable! But you guessed it, that was a WT____ am I doing time. Totally thought we were going to die and orphan our children. Kept praying for God to not make it hurt when I smashed to the ground! And our 10yr son. Oh he was not a happy camper. Think he had a WT__ moment too!

2 comments:

  1. Ellen, you have had an emotional week. You are not yourself! That's why you were able to get on that roller coaster.

    Nah! I'm teasing; I'm glad you had fun.

    Sad about the "daughter". OMG! Hopefully having the proof she isn't the daughter will be helpful.

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  2. Trish, nope sure wasn't myself! But I conquered fear of leaving my family for days to go to the Prim Mart Convention last May, conquered my fear of flying for an Admissions Counselor Conference in Nov. and now figured I'd conquer roller coasters. Whew, now I'm tired. But it feels so good!! Thanks for the smile & support dear friend!

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