Friday, July 12, 2013

Jumped A Mental Hurdle

Yesterday I jumped a mental hurdle when I competed in my first ever race. Well, with the exception of high school track meets. Last night the family did the Color Me Davison 5k Color Run. This time I wasn't nauseous, but the belly butterflies were fluttering. You see, this gal is not one to workout in front of others. Nor do I enjoy running with others. Let me set my own pace and do my own thing. Many people like to run with others to have them push them along. Not me. The mental games my own mind plays with me is pushy enough. Yet, the girls wanted to do it and it was on my bucket list, so what the hell!
The 5 mins before the horn felt like an eternity. I hated all the people around that I swore were analyzing me. Crap kept going through my head like, "Am I going to be last? Are my shorts too short? Do I look fat? Do I have a booger? What if my knee gives out? Are the new insoles going to slip? What if I have to fart? Why are these people looking at me?"
Then the horn blew and we were off. Since this was my first time, I was surprised to see that many people walk these runs. I thought they were all like speedsters. The kids took off and left Brad and me in the dust. I knew Alec would fly, but the other 3, not so sure. We caught up to one of the girls, but the other stayed ahead of us with her other brother. Alec ended up finishing 5th out of all the runners. I swear the boy has wings!
So as we are running and people are along the trails taking pictures and cheering everyone on, this picture kept going through my head:
"Oh good Heavens, I probably do look like that. Why am I putting myself out here like this?" But then I was brought back to reality as the cloud of colored chalk caught me off guard and threw me into a slight "oh shit" moment. This dumb ass took a breath as she ran through the chalk. Yeah, not a good thing to do, especially if you're claustrophobic. Once I was out of the dust cloud, I was able to take some deep breaths to calm myself and made a mental note to hold my breath through the next color station. 
There were several times I wanted to stop and walk, but I didn't. NOT EVER DID I WALK WHILE ON THE 3.1 MILES! To be honest, Brad kept me going. He reminded me that if I walked, I couldn't blog or post that I ran the whole thing. He said, "Don't you dare quit! You will be mad at yourself if you walk because you won't be able to say you ran the whole thing." He was right. I would've been pissed at myself for walking. It pissed me off that I even thought about walking. It is such a mental game. During my own 2, 3, 4, 5 mi runs, I can make it without walking. So why now at this race am I wanting to walk? Thank Heaven my OCD kicked in and I didn't want to fail so my head told me, "This is a race, so race. Run Forest!" So I ran.
I completed my first race. Even though I wanted to stop, I didn't. I didn't die by running the whole thing. I didn't finish last. Actually we were in the front part of the pack. But the most important thing is that I jumped that mental hurdle of working out in public and cleared it!
Fact of Life Learned: You're never too old to jump a mental hurdle. It takes mind over matter. Just do it! You'll be glad you did!
Have you ever competed in a race? What do you do to stay motivated on your run?

Color even went through to tank top

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